I Found My Tribe

For my readers that do not know I was recently diagnosed with neurofibromas and schwannomas (you can read about my journey on my personal blog).  This diagnosis has completely turned my world upside down and from what my neurologist says I'm only at the beginning of my journey.  Even in your darkest times there is the realization that things could always be worse.  I am thankful that, at this point, on most days, I am still able to use my arms and legs and function for the most part but then there are those days that I rely heavily on my husband, my two sons and my friends and family; my tribe. 

Ruth Fitzmaurice was a 32-year-old aspiring writer with a film-maker husband, and three small children at home.  Life was busy but it was good.  In 2008 Simon, her husband, was diagnosed with motor neuron disease (or MND) and given four years to live.  I Found My Tribe is their story.

"It all started in his foot.  His right foot went floppy," then before long Simon lost complete use of his body, having to use his eyes to communicate.  Before Simon completely deteriorated, him and Ruth were able to conceive and have twins, so now Ruth not only cares for her husband (with the help of around the clock home healthcare) but also their five children.  

As women, we tend to bottle everything up and put on a brave face for our families and Ruth is no exception.  In these times, you have to have something to diffuse that pressure; a moment to just forget it all.  For Ruth it's swimming in a local cove near her house in Greystones, Ireland.  Some days she takes a dip companionless and other days her children join her.  But on most days she swims with the Tragic Wives' Swimming Club; a group of women who are each dealing with their own lives' struggles.  

Ruth and two members of the Tragic Wives' Swimming Club

It doesn't matter if it's summer or winter, these women daily dive into the Irish sea without abandon.  Some nights, if the moon is full, they even swim naked, leaving all of their burdens behind, getting lost amid the waves, and soothing their souls.  

I Found My Tribe is written like a dairy with the author jumping from stories of the past and intertwining them with what is currently going on in her life.  You can feel her anguish when she reminisces about their life before MND and the hard choices that she has had to make since, like having to leave her marital bed due to all of the medical equipment needed to keep her husband alive, or the heartbreaking decision to put their family dog to sleep.  Their story is heartbreaking yet beautiful; a crazy, messy, hard, wonderful life.

The Fitzmaurice Family

I hope to see a lot more from Ruth Fitzmaurice.  She has a refreshing tone to her writing style and you can really feel the emotion in her words.  After finishing the book, which I did within a few days, I did more research on Simon and Ruth and found out that Simon Fitzmaurice lost his battle with MND and passed away on October 28, 2017 at the age of 43, thus adding to the torment in my own heart for this beautiful family.  My prayers are with them as they now have to again adjust to a new life.

*I received a complimentary copy of this book from Bloomsbury and NetGalley in exchange for an honest, unbiased review.  All opinions are my own.